the first boy that i loved was intoxicating.
R. was strong, rebellious, and terribly romantic. he was every young girls fathers' worst nightmare.
life with him in it was a dream. the reality surrounding us did not exist and we were crazy for each other.
although we went to the same school in new jersey, the teachers forbid us to spend time with one another. and on the weekends when we were not allowed to be together - it was almost unbearable.
a day without him felt like eternity.
however, we were children really - 14 maybe 15 years old and did not understand most of the feelings we had or the reactions we gave to them.
i remember one day i discovered R talking to another girl, calling her his girlfriend, playing hoobastank "the reason" for her, which had been our song. i was heartbroken, emotionally destroyed. i disconnected all the phones in my house, turned off my cell phone and cried. i remember it was near thanksgiving time and my family and i were baking seasonal cookies for upcoming parties but it was raining out. the fall in new jersey is beautiful - with the trees changing color and the air becoming more crispy. i remember R rode his bike over to my house (which was four towns over) in the pouring rain because he couldn't bare the thought of losing me. outside, in my backyard, in the rain, we both cried, and laughed, and i forgave him because i knew no rationality or logic; all i knew was my love for him.
needless to say, R and i are no longer together. our relationship only lasted that one brief year in the life. but it was powerful, eye opening, and moving and despite all odds, he changed my life.
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